


Moonlight Bloom (밤꽃)

by smallchittaphon



Series: Enamoured Moon [6]
Category: NCT (Band), SM Rookies
Genre: M/M, Past Relationship(s), Polyamory, Red String of Fate, fem!jisung, side pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-11-07 22:15:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11068206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallchittaphon/pseuds/smallchittaphon
Summary: In a world, where the strings of fate are tangled, Taeil is shocked to find that his thread leads to not one person, but two.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [NCTprompts_V](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/NCTprompts_V) collection. 



> wanted to post a part of this before his bday ends, also note that jisung is female in this au....
> 
> Happy Birthday Taeil~♡

It’s there.

Pink, thin and topped off in a small bow around his left ring finger. It’s mocking in a way. A constant reminder that Taeil’s stuck five out of the seven days in the week at the book nook, which for the record, doesn’t have a single nook for you to read your books in. ( _And no, Jisung, the pile of beanbags in the corner of the teenage romance section isn’t a nook. Technically._ ) He hadn’t expected for it appear anytime soon. In all honesty, he had already given up on waiting for the stupid, flimsy thing to appear out of thin air. He’s so close to thirty and he thinks, _why now_?

He wants to seek out his roommate for advice seeing as he’s graduating with a minor in this crap, but he thinks he’ll spare himself from Hansol’s usual ‘ _everything-happens-for-a-reason_ ’ bullshit because he never feels better afterwards. He just ends up tucked under a pile of blankets and pillows on his bed as he wallows in self-pity because “Fuck you Hansol, I deserve to be happy.”

So this is why he finds himself today, standing behind the counter, eyes shifting from person to person, then back down to his hand－an unsettling feeling forming in the pit of stomach. Jisung had run off to get lunch nearly an hour ago, and Taeil thinks he won’t even be able to stomach anything. Actually, he might puk－

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” Renjun questions, Jaemin trailing behind him. Their presence startles Taeil—whom in a rush to hide his hand—hits it against the corner of the desk. He winces before smiling nervously up at them, his knuckles throbbing with pain. It's stupid of him to even think to hide it because even if he does move his hand out of the way, he knows he's the only one who can see it. Jaemin, for lack of a better word, looks sympathetic, and Taeil already hates where this is going.

“Sweetie," Jaemin starts off.

A snarky remark is on the tip of Taeil's tongue but he swallows it down because it always amuses him how Jaemin tries ( _read: tries_ ) to comfort people. It's like watching an ostrich try to fly. _Who's gonna tell the poor guy he's flightless?_ _Renjun? Nope, the kid doesn't have it in him to crush his fiancee's will._

“Are you sad again about not having your string yet?” Jaemin continues. His voice is soft as he tries to touch Taeil's shoulder over the counter.

Taeil gives a quick smile. “If I say yes, will you leave me alone?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

Renjun shoots Jaemin a look while he shrugs his jacket off and turns back to Taeil. “Yes, he'll leave you alone.” ( _“For today.”_ )

“Thanks?” Taeil questions. Renjun clicks his tongue, leaning his weight on his hands when he pats Taeil’s shoulder. It’s a normal gesture, signalling that they should drop the subject.

“So, are you free tonight?” Renjun nonchalantly asks.

Taeil pretends to ponder for a minute. He is _free_ , per se, but he think his plans of settling in bed with the third season of _Parks and Recreation_ on is better than anything Renjun has in mind. Last time he went out with their friends, he spent half the night trying to get a drunk and _very_ nude Donghyuck down from the top of the playground castle. It took three minutes to actually get clothes on the younger, and then an extra two to get him to let go of Taeil’s jacket so the latter could go home; all of this was accompanied by Mark’s laughter at his best friends’ antics and not lending Taeil a single hand while their friends had long but ditched them one hour into Taeil yelling for Donghyuck to come down. So yeah, Leslie Knope sounds like a better candidate to occupy his time than his friends.

And yet... “Yeah, I'm free. Why?”

“Remember Kun?” Renjun starts off. He leans his elbow on the counter and waits expectantly for something to click in Taeil’s mind. They talk about too many things in one day that most things go over his head. So it’s no surprise that the name isn’t ringing any bells. Renjun sighs, “My friend from Florida?”

“Oh. That Kun.” Taeil confirms.

Kun Qian. He vaguely remembers Renjun talking about him. All good things—great things. The last thing he remembers about the guy was when Renjun took a week leave to fly out for Kun’s wedding. He remembers Renjun boasting about his betrothed as well. ( _“I’ll bring you back trinkets from Florida.” “I swear if anything say ‘Gatorland’ on it, I don’t want it”_ )

“Yes, yes, Kun from Florida. What about him?”

“He just moved here, and we’re all meeting up at the bar tonight as a welcoming. I was wondering if you want to come?”

Out of all the places, he decided to come to Washington. Specifically Lynnwood. It rains more days than other cities, and they get close to eight inches of snow. There’s nothing to do here. People _leave_ Lynnwood to start living, they don't come to Lynnwood to start their lives. The hottest places to hang out are the diners and the local bar; but other than that, this place is far too quiet. It’s suffocating sometimes, Taeil thinks. “You want me to go to a bar?”

“Yes, why wouldn’t we?” Jaemin interjects. Taeil  had forgotten he was there. He would go, but then again he fears the events from last time will repeat itself; he doesn’t have it in him to spend his night babysitting Donghyuck.

Jaemin can see the gears turning in Taeil’s head, and he laughs, “You don’t have to stay the entire night, and I’ll personally make sure Donghyuck doesn’t get shitfaced. Koeun will have my ass on a platter if he's that drunk again.”

“Alright, I’ll go.”

 

-

 

When Taeil walks into the bar, he regrets agreeing to go. Yeah, he’ll only be here for an hour, but it’s hot, stuffy, and vaguely smells like puke. He forgets how much he hates the bar. Jaehyun’s eye twinkles disgustingly when Taeil nears the hostess podium, and Taeil hisses between his teeth, “Taeil! You're actually here.” _I owe Donghyuck twenty bucks_ , Jaehyun whispers.

Taeil chooses not to acknowledge that comment. “Yes, can you believe it? I’m finally out and about. Where are they sitting?”

Jaehyun waves his hand behind him. “Your usual spot.”

“Thanks.” He huffs before pushing past the annoying amount of people on the dance floor. It’s a bar, why is there even people dancing? He spots Renjun first when their usual booth comes into view. He’s clad in a silk button up Taeil remembers getting him for his birthday two years back, and he smiles at the fact that he still has it.

“Taeil’s here!” Donghyuck announces when he’s in view, and Taeil scoffs, petting the younger’s hair before scooting in next to Taeyong.

“Hey guys.”

Renjun reaches out and pats his hand. “I’m glad you came out.” Taeil looks down at their hands and sees the engagement ring, shiny and bright on his left finger. An unexpected reminder of his string. It feels suddenly stuffy and he squeezes the younger’s hand before shrugging off his coat.Taeil looks around the table and sure enough, no new faces.  “Where is the ‘guest of hon-”

“Hey, sorry I’m late.” Kun excuses, shrugging off his jacket before sitting down. Most of the group waves him off, greeting him warmly before Taeyong's calling over one of the hostesses, Koeun, and orders the first round. Kun thanks Taeyong before Renjun pulls his attention to introduce him to everyone. It takes a while and when Koeun comes back with their drinks, Taeil is grateful for something to do while Renjun gets carried away and goes into full depth about each person.

“Koeun, wait!” Renjun calls, flagging her over  and Mark wheezes, “She's working. Let's not bother her, please?” He pleads, but Renjun waves him off. Koeun smiles at Kun, letting Renjun introduce her as Mark noticeably sinks further into the crease of the worn out booth. “She's Mark's girlfriend.” Renjun finishes, pointing at Mark, who's barely visible from all the sinking he's done. Koeun laughs at his misery, and so does Kun when Mark visibly smiles softly at the sound of Koeun’s laugh. _How soft_.

“Well I gotta get back to work,” she announces. “I hope someone doesn't get too drunk that I’ll have to take care of him.” Everyone's eyes land on Donghyuck, and Kun looks confused.

Donghyuck smacks his lips. “I said that was the last time. Trust me, guys!” Mark hums in agreement. Koeun rolls her eyes, giving Mark a quick kiss before running back to work. Renjun giggles, “Oooo, she's gonna beat your ass.”

Jaemin turns to Mark. “Please record it for us when it goes down.”

Mark salutes him, “Will do!”

“ _When_ it goes down?” Donghyuck squeaks.

 

-

 

They don't end up leaving the bar until close to two in the morning when Jaemin announces he has a one p.m. class he can't miss. Renjun nods sleepily in agreement, and mumbles about how great it was to see Kun again.

“It was great meeting all of you. I hope it isn't the last time I see you guys.” Kun says, slipping his jacket back on, reaching out to shake everyone's hand. Taeil notes how odd it is that Kun shakes with his left hand, and laughs when Mark struggles to find which hand would be best to shake with. Taeil doesn't even think twice before reaching out his left hand as well once Kun's in front of him.

His hand stiffens for a second before his smile turns into a tight lipped one. His string leads directly to Kun's and he doesn't have the heart to met Kun's eyes, but he knows he's noticed when they stop shaking hands and Kun's thumb rubs tenderly over his ring finger.

Kun mumbles another round of goodbyes and then leaves, Taeil's eyes following him. When Kun turns around, their eyes meet—Kun throwing a soft smile his way, letting the door close behind him, and Taeil hates how his chest fills up with a warm fuzzy feeling. He wants Kun to look at him like that for hours, for days on end; but if he remembers correctly, he’s married.

This seems like nothing more than a cruel joke the universe had bestowed onto him. The Universe is an asshole. _Fuck_ the Universe.

 

* * *

 

“Dude, you don't look so good.” Yukhei comments the moment he comes in for his shift Monday morning. Jisung turns to look at Taeil, and sure enough, Taeil’s practically suffocating in the bean bags closest to the door. They have an hour till they open, and Taeil wants nothing more than to have called out.

Jisung sighs, “He got his string, and the recipient on the other end is married.”

Yukhei frowns, humming softly when he sees Taeil shove his face into a beanbag and screams. _Relatable_. He's gonna have to suck it up once they open though. Customers don't like it when the employees sulk. Maybe Taeil could chill in his office.

Yukhei gives him one last look before he's nudging Jisung, “Did the new shipment of mangas come in?”

Jisung rolls her eyes, nudging Yukhei back but grabbing the small box of mangas from under the counter and pushing them towards him. “You get to stack them since you've been talking about them all week.”

Yukhei practically rips open the box, bringing a book up to smell it, and he sighs. Taeil grumbles from where he is; he's always liked the way his co-workers are just as passionate about book as he is, but Yukhei is _too_ happy. He wants it to end.

Yukhei hugs the box, and Jisung moans. “You're so embarrassing. Go shelve these before we open. The price gun is in the office.”

Yukhei sticks his tongue out. “You're just jealous your murder mysteries don't come in for another three weeks.”

Jisung makes to punch his arm, but she barely misses when he scurries away. He giggles and disappears behind a shelf when Taeil groans loudly. _Oh yeah, he's here_.

Jisung kneels in front of him, patting his knee softly. “Taeil, buddy, are you gonna be able to work today?” Taeil looks at her once before rolling face first into one of the beanbags. “Taeil!” Jisung slaps the back of his head.

“Jesus, Jisung!” Taeil wails, rolling back over to scowl at her. She doesn't even bat an eye.

“Get up!” She demands, pulling his arm until he's ( _unwillingly_ ) on his feet. Jisung straightens his shoulders, fixes his bangs, puts the hem of his shirt down and pats his shoulder. “You can't spend the rest of your shift having a pity party because the universe decided that you're fated to someone who's already married. I won't stand for it.”

“But—”

“But what, Taeil? You can't be picky about these kinda things. Look at Yukhei and Donghyuck. Those two could and probably will kill each other one day. They hate each other; but they're fated, and they made it work. They gave it a try, and now you see the way Donghyuck looks like he's practically gonna die of a heart attack whenever Yukhei just smiles. It's sickeningly sweet, but that's how the string works.” Jisung crosses her arms, hip cocked, and Taeil can tell she's ready to argue ( _and win_ ) if Taeil whines.

Taeil crosses his arms back. “I have morals. The string is stupid, and I'd rather not get into shit like that. You know what happened with you know who, and I'd rather not have a soulmate.”

Jisung frown only deepens. “I don't think you understand how lucky you are. My soulmate died before I could even meet them. I would've give anything to experience what's it like to meet my soulmate. To have a soulmate.” Taeil's mouth dries. He forgot about that. He sighs. He should've shut his mouth.

“Jisung,” Taeil whispers.

She waves him off. “Just get ready we open in thirty.”

 

-

 

This shift sucks.

Taeil is stuck at the register; Yukhei has his afternoon storytime at twelve; and Jisung's on lunch. It's boring. Why isn't Taeyong working today?

It's not fun being left alone in your thoughts. This town is small, so he's bound to run into Kun again whether he likes it or not. Maybe he can convince Hansol to move to Atlanta with him. They have the World of Coke. It could be nice. Although he knows if Hansol agrees, that means Taeyong would also be with them. He doesn't hate Taeyong, per say, he just hates the fact that Taeyong is constantly finishing his cereal whenever he sleeps over.

The chime sounds off when the door opens, and Taeil smiles. “Welco—” _Dammit_! Kun smiles, his eyebrows furrowed awkwardly but he walks cautiously to the counter. Kun's all kinds of beautiful and wonderful. Taeil had genuinely liked his personality when Renjun had invited everyone to the bar the other night. He's a personable guy.

“Hi, Taeil,” Kun greets, hands nervously tapping the counter.

Taeil can hear his heartbeat drumming in his ears and tries to focus on the sound of Yukhei reading out loud to the kindergartners. “Hey. What brings you here today?” It's a stupid question, but what else could he say?

Kun nose scrunches up as he tries to find the right words but ultimately gives up. “I came here to see you.” He points to Taeil's hand, both of them looking at the string hanging between them and Taeil shoves his hands in his sweater pockets. _(It's doesn't help. He can still see the string_.)

Kun chuckles, “Uh, I wanted to invite you out to lunch.”

“Lunch?” Taeil echoes.

Kun nods. “I talked it out with my husband, and he wants to met you.”

Wow, really fuck the universe. Taeil feels guilty for feeling the slightest bit of jealousy right under his skin at the mention of Kun's husband, yet he has no right to dictate what the other can do. Taeil reminds himself that _he's_ the outsider in this situation. “Oh, he does?” It's all so foreign to Taeil. The idea of having a soulmate, a soulmate who's already married. Happily married, might he add.

“You don't have to agree if you're not ready yet,” Kun assures him. Of course he's not ready. He doesn't think he'll ever be. Taeil really just hopes the earth swallows him whole.

Jisung comes in, bag of leftovers from her lunch when she sees a distressed Taeil. She walks up the counter and smiles that smile of hers, “I brought you leftovers.” Taeil visibly relaxes when she walks behind the counter with him. He mumbles a thanks, pulling the bag towards himself only to feel embarrassed because Kun is still watching him.

Taeil knows if he says no, it's only prolonging the fact that they have to talk about this eventually. Kun looks promising, someone Taeil can see himself starting a whole future with. “When and where?” Taeil finally asks.

Kun beams at the answer, leaving that warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of Taeil's stomach again. _Gross_. “The local diner, how does Friday afternoon sound?” Jisung stops rustling around behind him, probably listening in on them.

“Friday sounds great.” Taeil answers, fingers slowly curling around the bag in his hands. Kun sighs, “I guess I'll see you Friday.”

Taeil nods, keeping the smile plastered on his face as Kun walks away but realizes—“Wait, I don't have your number!”

Kun stops at the door, mouth making a soft _o_ before he's pulling out his phone and making his way back to the counter. Taeil gapes.

“Uh, yeah just give me your number and shoot me a text. I'll save it once I get off work.” Taeil laughs nervously, noticing how asking for Kun’s number could've been smoother than him yelling across the store dramatically. Kun is a good sport about it through, quickly saving his number, shooting him a text and saying goodbye again.

Taeil waves until Kun's outta view, and he slams his head on the counter. “Jisung, fucking kill me.”

Jisung let's out a low whistle. “I'm gonna remind you there's kindergartners in the store, but also, dude, Kun is kinda hot. Also ' _shoot me a text_.’ Really?”

Taeil almost gets whiplash from how fast he picks up his head to look at her. “You're suppose to be on my side!”

 

-

 

Taeil can tell this week is going progress significantly slower than any other week of the year. Than any other week of his life.

Monday has been okay, aside from when Kun was in the store. Monday usually went by as his slowest shift of the week regardless. Yukhei clocks out at one for his classes, Jisung and Taeil clock out at three when Taeyong and Herin clock in—both too enthusiastic to get to work. Sometimes he wishes he could work mid to night shift, but reruns of _Full House_ start at eight p.m. sharp; and if anyone thinks he's gunna miss another episode of John Stamos looking like fine wine, they're sadly mistaken.

Tuesdays start off with Yukhei and Donghyuck, donuts included, yapping away on the bean bags, eating all the Boston cream donuts and leaving the glazed donuts for Jisung and Taeil to salvage. Donghyuck doesn't leave until ten a.m. on the dot, a bright smile on his face, and he teases Yukhei before the latter ultimately pushes Donghyuck out of the store—a smile on his face as he does so. ( _“Don't kiss the glass, Donghyuck!”_ )

Taeil can already foresee the rest of the week tiptoeing to Friday afternoon. Jisung agrees that this week does feel sluggish, and she emphasizes it when she drapes herself on Taeil's lap. He doesn’t say anything, letting her close her eyes for a couple seconds, and she huffs.

She looks at him, all doe eyes and soft pouts. “Pet my hair.” Taeil doesn't think twice before complying, Jisung humming appreciatively, and Yukhei comes to sit too. It's eleven a.m. on a Tuesday, and there's no one. It's basically a dead shift. Tuesdays are slow, so it's easy for Jisung to relax, prop her legs up in Yukhei's lap as Taeil pets her hair.

She only does this when she needs comfort, something reassuring in the midst of chaos. Taeil knows she could easily seek out her roommates, but it'd be kinda hard for her to go see Jaemin or Renjun at work for that matter. It's quiet, Yukhei slumped in the beanbag, holding a book in one hand, and keeping Jisung's legs from falling out of his lap with the other. Taeil feels better, this is his little family and he would do anything for them.

Jisung presses her head against his hand and he hums. “Jeno's back in town,” she starts.

Taeil can feel her body tense. Yukhei notices too, putting his book down and giving Taeil a worried glance. “Are you sure he is?” Taeil asks, moving the bangs out of her face, and she's pouting again.

“Saw him at the grocery store talking to Hina at self checkout.”

She pushes herself up and sits between the two.

“Are you okay, Jisung?” Yukhei asks, pulling Jisung's hand into his lap. Her nose twitches, her eyes gloss over and, fuck, Taeil's gonna cry too the moment one tear rolls down her face.

“Why is he back? I was just starting to be okay and I even went on a dates.” She starts.

She laughs airy, pulling Taeil's hand—pressing their palms together. “I saw him Monday before I came back from lunch and Kun was here. I didn't want to make it about me, you had enough on yo—”

“Kiddo, slow down. Take a breath, will ya?” Taeil interjects, his mind racing a million miles per hour. Jeno had been a big part of Jisung's life in high school. It's was obvious to anyone with eyes that the two had something there, but predictably, Jeno got his string. Yerim from his AP Calculus class and Jisung were devastated. She's been really good at hiding, acting like everything was chill, but she'd take a bus to Taeil's everyday until her graduation, crying to her heart's content in his room and eventually sleeping. Her mom would pass by on the way home from work to pick Jisung up, and the events would repeat themselves the next day.

Taeil has been Jisung's solid rock for years; she trusts him, adores him, confides in him, but because he was too caught up with strings he couldn't tell when something like this is messing with her. She stopped playing cello after she graduated. The cello was an extension of Jisung, but she had put that to rest when Jeno left. “We've both got a lot on our plates, huh?” He mumbles, getting a small nod from Jisung. They're gonna be fine as long as they're together.

 

-

 

Wednesdays consist of Taeyong being here at ass o’clock, always pondering whether he should rearrange the shelves and ultimately deciding against it in honor of their loyal customers. Taeil's got a crocheting class at two p.m. to teach, and it's just Taeyong and Taeil until Koeun comes in part time.

Taeyong doesn't hover, but knows what's up the moment Taeil sees Mark and Koeun being disgustingly sweet in the garden behind the building. His nose scrunches up when Mark kisses Koeun’s cheek affectionately, and Taeyong nudges him. “Stop staring. You're going to set them on fire by just looking at them.”

“What's up?” Taeyong asks, acting like he doesn't practically live with Taeil.

“You know,” Taeil sneers, shoving one the books in his hand too harshly back on the shelf. Soulmates suck.

Taeyong crosses his arms. “If this is how aggressive you get before a date because you're anxious, I wouldn't want to date you.”

“You're dating Hansol.” Taeil states.

“It's was a hypothetical situation,” Taeyong deadpans, his eye look even bigger and invasive when Taeil looks at him. Prying into him like Taeyong knows all his little secrets. Taeyong's always had a way of making his presence grand and inviting without trying. Taeil supposes that's why he approached Taeyong the second week he went to community college; no actual reason for him to approach the other, just the _need_ to know. “You really should relax. You have nothing to worry about. Did you hear what Hansol said?” 

For lack of a better word, Hansol had told Taeil to be optimistic. Taeil had been straight forward: every detail of the situation he could think of, he told Hansol. Hansol had asked. strangely enough, midway through. “What color is your string?”

“Um, what?” Taeil asks, scratching his neck. It’s a weird question. Out of the blue really; but if anyone knows more about soulmates, it’s Hansol. Hansol has proven time and time again that he’s one step ahead of Taeil. Hansol was _always_ rational, _always_ knowledgeable, and _always_ an open book. It’s one of the reasons Taeil stays by Hansol’s side unconditionally. “Does the color matter?” Taeil follows his question up.

“When you get your string, it’s a nice pink. It turns red when you meet your soulmate.” Hansol waves his hand dismissively in the air—Taeil’s eyes trained on every move of his like a hawk. “It’s kinda like how we associate red with passion and pink with innocence. We still don’t know _why_ it changes color but we know _when_ it changes. So what color is yours?”

Taeil brings his hand up, turning it this way and that way. His string glints slightly in the light but it isn’t red. It’s almost stripped, pink and red mixing together almost too naturally; like it was a candy cane on Christmas. Taeil thumbs at his ring finger and frowns. “It’s both. Pink and Red, I mean.”

Hansol slumps in his chair, “You’ve only met one of your soulmates.” Hansol replies, throwing his words out into the air like it didn't just change a life.

 _Soulmates?_ Plural? “What do you mean one of my soul _mates_ ?” Taeil squeaks, pulling his hand to his chest almost defensively. It’s already some cosmic joke that he’s fated to Kun, a _married man_ , but to know somewhere out there, he has another soulmate. Hansol pats Taeil’s hand, a usual gesture of comfort and empathy but in no way is it comforting.

 

-

 

Thursday passes in a blur: nothing interesting happens other than Yukhei tripping over a book ( _singular_ ) and knocking over the teenage romance shelf.

It takes a lot of reassurance from Jisung that Taeyong isn't mad at Yukhei. “He just always looks bitchy. That's just Taeyong.”

It also takes a lot of patience from Koeun to not pop a blood vessel at how the new releases have also fallen in the chaos of it all. “These are brand new books. I hope none of these are bent for your sake and your will to live.” Koeun hisses at Yukhei as she pushes up the shelves again.

Friday rolls around unwillingly.

The moment Taeil wakes up at eight a.m., mind registering what day it is, his heart races. Couldn't the world have ended in 2012 like everyone had predicted?

He spends too much time nitpicking at how he looks in the mirror that he’s late to work. Jisung gives him an odd look, but then she’s back to booting up the register like she didn’t see him.

But Taeyong sees him when he walks into the break room, chokes on his Cosmic Brownie, and then frowns. “What’s wrong?” Taeyong asks. It’s funny how Taeil being late sets off Taeyong. Taeyong rubs his hands on his jeans before pulling Taeil to sit next to him on the sofa. Taeil drops his keys on the floor and sinks into the cushion ( _unfortunately not getting swallowed whole by the sofa like he wants_ ).

Taeyong lets them sit in silence for a couple minutes before Taeyong speaks up. “Is today the..”

Taeil nods, shuts his eyes, and groans softly. “I feel like I’m gonna throw up,” he proclaims, sitting up fast and grabbing the second pack of Cosmic Brownies off the table. Taeyong mourns the loss of his brownie before he realizes Taeil might need it more than him.

“You don’t have to work register today. I’ll take over, then you can go home after lunch if you want.” Taeyong’s too nice for his own good. Taeil wants to tell him he can’t do that, but Taeyong owns the place; he can do whatever he wants. Taeil hums, pieces of the brownie stuck to the roof of his mouth when he mumbles a _thanks_ ; and just maybe the smile Taeyong gives, and the extra pack of cosmic brownies he slips into Taeil’s pocket, gets him through his morning shift.

Eleven a.m. is when time starts ticking slower.

He can hear Jisung turning pages in her book at the info desk; he can hear Taeyong cataloguing at his computer; and he can hear Koeun reading to the kids in the meeting room. It feels like everything is louder without having to be loud. He swears someone can probably hear his heart beating in his chest, and it’s embarrassing how caught up he is about this. This feels like petty teenage drama, not real life. Like Taeil didn’t even really wake up today, and this is all a fever dream. But sure enough it’s not when he hears the door chime, and he hears Taeyong greet Kun.

Taeil jumps to see over the manga shelves and sees Kun making small talk. His breath hitches, and he slides down as close to the ground as possible.

“I’ll go get him,” Taeyong chuckles, his footsteps heavy, and Taeil already knows Taeyong knows where he’s at.

Taeyong turns into the aisle, smile gone the moment he’s out of Kun’s view and crouches down to sit by Taeil. He grabs the manga in Taeil’s hand and turns it over, snickering when he flips open a single page.

“Of course you’d be the one to hide out the manga section with tentacle porn.” Taeil slaps Taeyong’s thigh, giggling at Taeyong’s face before he’s resting his head on Taeyong’s shoulder. Taeyong is comforting in the sense that he reminds Taeil of Hansol. He’s homey almost, and it’s just what Taeil needs now.

“You know you don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” Taeyong whispers, pressing a kiss to Taeil’s temple.

Taeil sighs, pushing himself up off the floor and helps Taeyong up. “There’s no point in drawing this out for longer than it needs to be,” Taeil states, shelving the manga before he walks to the front desk.


	2. Chapter 2

The car ride to the diner had been quiet despite the radio playing and the wind from having the windows rolled down. Kun had assured him that Dongyoung was excited and delighted to meet Taeil so there’s no need to worry. Taeil had only nodded, a tight smile on his lips before it went dead silent again. The diner comes into view, and Taeil feels a smudge of comfort rock softly through him. He tells himself he can do this. He knows he can.

“He’s already got a table,” Kun tells him when they’re walking in.

They walk past the front foyer and turn to where there’s less families and more couples. Taeil tries not to noitce it but a glint catches his eye－his string. It’s  _ red _ , shining weirdly and splits in two. His eye follows the string that lead to Kun and then follows the other string to a booth tucked near the hall that leads to the bathrooms. He sees someone: glasses, orange hair, and a black hoodie on before he looks back to Kun. They’re headed right towards  _ that _ booth and Taeil feels nervous again. The guy turns, eyes very obviously brightening when he sees them and he stands ( _ taller than Taeil expected _ ).

“Dongyoung,” Kun says, smiling up at  _ Dongyoung _ before kissing him quickly. They turn to Taeil, and Taeil huffs, looking at Dongyoung, then back at his string.

“Uh, we should sit and order,” Dongyoung suggests. 

 

-

 

Dongyoung claps his hands together. “This is good.”  _ No, it’s worse _ . “I mean we’re all fated. Makes for things to be less messy,” Dongyoung continues, sipping his drink as he looks between Kun and Taeil. Taeil averts his gaze, looks down at his hands and then ops for looking down at the ground. He fiddles with balled up paper from his straw, and his nose twitches.

“When I had met Kun, my string was both red and pink,” Taeil says, suddenly complied to say so.

“What color is it now?” Kun asks.

“Red,” Taeil whispers, hiding his mouth behind his hand and he swings his legs anxiously. Their eyes seem to break him apart and put him back together, and he feels small under their gaze, figuratively and physically. They’ve got their foot wedged in between the door and the threshold as Taeil desperately tries to close it. He doesn’t like the feeling of any of this—the way they’re permanently tied to him now and he can’t just undo that.

Kun speaks up first, voice hushed and gentle. Almost like he can see Taeil’s inner turmoil. “We should  _ try _ to figure out how we’ll do this.” Taeil runs a hand through his hair and fidgets with his straw. “I mean relationships aren’t a walk in the park, but we can at least try to figure out how to ease into a way of life with us three in the picture.”

Dongyoung and Taeil nod.

“I-” Taeil coughs, pulling and picking at his napkin. “I guess we should try.”

Kun smiles at him. “I guess we should.” 

 

-

 

“So, from what I’m understanding is that for two weeks Kun’s staying at your place; then after those two weeks, you’ll be at their place but just with Dongyoung?” Jisung tries to clarify, chewing on a donut. Yukhei looks like his head’s spinning. He leans on the table in the break room, and Taeyong glares at him.

Taeil nods, albeit confused himself, but he's agreed to this nonetheless.

“Are you nervous?” Taeyong asks, hand coming to rest on Taeil's forearm.

_ Of fucking course _ , he wants to yell. He's so nervous he's gonna puke. He feels almost as sick as when his string first appeared. Hansol had been of no help last night, only gushing and trying to quickly clean up around their living room. Taeil's stomach feels permanently lodged in his throat. Come Sunday morning, Kun will be with him at almost all waking hours of the day. Work’s going to be a safe place, he's decided. At least till he's comfortable with Kun ( _ and Dongyoung thereafter _ ).

“I could be better,” Taeil says instead. Jisung pouts at him, running her hand through his hair once, endearing and comforting like how he used to do to her when she was heartbroken. He smiles, leans into her touch, and she smiles back, in the warm way she's only reserves for Taeil ( _ and murder mysteries _ ).

_ Everything will be fine _ .

 

-

 

Taeil realizes too late that his apartment is his safe space.

He realizes when Kun is in his room, marveling over the nice view Taeil has from his window. It feels almost tainted, scandalous to have a married man in his room with the intention of getting closer. Hansol greets Kun with open arms, talking his ear off before he's scurrying off to spend time with Taeyong again. It feels like the ultimate betrayal—Hansol being accepting makes Taeil feel like the bad guy.

“Do you mind if I cook dinner for us?” Kun asks, pulling Taeil from the edge of a nervous breakdown.

Taeil's eyebrow furrow involuntarily. “I don't think we have food to make a proper meal.”

“We'll see what you have first and go off that, is that fine?” Kun questions, already teetering towards the kitchen. It's awfully polite of him to ask and know what's good and what's not, but Taeil doesn't stop thinking about how he shouldn't have to ask. He should feel like he's welcome, and yet he knows the reason he feels indifferent is because of his own inner melodramatic monologue.

Taeil ops for a shrug. “It's fine.”

Kun smiles quickly, awkwardly ( _ almost uncomfortably _ ) making his way around the kitchen, opening and closing cupboards, the fridge. It shouldn't mean anything, the only thing that Taeil should focus on is giving Kun a chance, really trying. It's just a fast shift from wanting his string,  _ his soulmate _ ; and then actually getting his wish but in an odd way.

He hears pots and pans clank together; he hears cupboards opening and closing and he waits. Kun comes back to Taeil, face unreadable, and he hums, “You only have lasagna noodles and ragu, so I'm gonna have to go buy the rest of the stuff to make lasagna.”

“I'll go with you,” Taeil offers without really thinking. He swallows hard at the realization that grocery shopping will be the first domestic thing they'll do. It's almost nerve-wracking seeing Kun's face light up at Taeil's comment.

Next thing they know they're at the closest store, Kun with the basket and Taeil trailing behind him slowly. Not much is said but Taeil feels, vulnerable. Open to the public eye that he's dating, well,  _ trying _ to date. Can they even call this a date?

“Cottage cheese or ricotta cheese?” Kun asks, obviously trying to ease into small talk.

Taeil's eyebrows furrow. “Is there a difference?”

“Oh there there's a  _ difference _ .” Kun corrects, putting both in the basket. “I'll just make half with one and half with the other so you can tell the difference. Dongyoung usually picks cottage cheese.”

_ Dongyoung _ . “I haven't ever had both so this is all new for me.” Taeil forces a laugh, dry, and words implying more than just the cheese. Kun nods, continuing on, and Taeil nearly beats himself up for making things weird.

( _ There's a difference. Cottage cheese is better. _ )

 

-

 

The first two days Taeil gets little to no sleep. 

Kun respectfully sleeps on his side of the bed curled up, and the many pillows between them go untouched. Taeil admits he likes that Kun talks before falling asleep. His voice is low and soft when he's sleepy. It's relaxing, comforting when he absolutely needs it. But Taeil feels like an ass for setting boundaries when he's suppose to be breaking them. He's spent years feeling comfortable by himself and this just isn't his forte. He can't be blamed for being wary.

“Kun,” Taeil mumbles when they're in bed the fifth night. Kun had talked less, probably all talked out from his ongoing debate about Team Cap and Team Iron Man with Taeyong. Kun rolls over, cheek squished against on the pillows between them and Taeil can barely see his face in the dark. “I wanna sleep without the pillows. Um, facing each other.”

Kun reaches out to take his hand. “Are you positive you want to?”

Taeil hums. “I feel like we won't make progress if I shut you out. I feel like I'm not giving you a fair chance.”

“It's okay for you to have boundaries, Taeil.” And he's right, there's no reason for him to be riddled with guilt for having a comfort zone. Taeil sits up, pulls the first pillow away, Kun letting him pull it from under him, and their eyes meet.

It's odd. There's a painfully hard tug in Taeil's chest, an attraction to Kun when he looks into his eyes. He can see a life with him and more but also sees his own projections of what he wants for his future. He doesn't know much about Kun and yet he's willing to follow him blindfolded if he'd just ask.

Kun stares back. He exhales loudly, and Taeil just leans forward, eyes shutting, as he presses a kiss to Kun's mouth. He shakes, fingers not knowing what to grab, resting awkward in his lap and he pulls away. Kun's eyes are shut, his mouth parted as he breathes. His hand slips down Taeil's back, squeezes his side endearingly. “Taeil, can I kiss you again?”

A simple question and Taeil barely hums loud enough for Kun to hear. He leans up as Taeil leans down to meet him halfway. The initial contact it just soft, barely any pressure but the subtle warmth of both of them is there. Kun leans just a smudge more, pushes just a bit more, and parts his lips－Taeil following his lead. It’s easy for them to kiss this way, slow, almost like they’re learning for the first time. Kun is attentive, touches as soft as feathers on Taeil’s skin, and Taeil appreciates it, leaning more onto Kun.

Taeil rests his forehead on Kun’s when they pull apart, leaning to give him a quick kiss before rolling on his back. “We should sleep,” Kun says, his breath harsh, and Taeil hums.

“Yeah, we should,” he whispers back, scooting until his side is pressed against Kun’s chest. Kun chuckles, pulling Taeil closer and they fall asleep like that－Kun tucked into Taeil’s side.

 

-

 

Taeil learns quickly that asking about Dongyoung, or just mentioning him, makes Kun happy.

It's kinda bittersweetly beautiful. Kun could and probably would go on for days, talking about Dongyoung. The things Dongyoung likes or does, Kun loves it.

Taeil remembers a time in his life where he was that in love with someone— so in love with someone that everything they did was cute or beautiful in a odd way. It's hard to explain, being _ that _ in love but Taeil gets it. Taeil hopes he can be that way with both of them in the future.

Just the thought of a promising future makes Taeil feel reassured, fuzzy almost— inside.

But when he sees Kun talking with Dongyoung animatedly over the smallest things, it stirs something much more bitter in Taeil. Not jealousy,  _ no never jealousy _ , but an almost nostalgic feeling. He remembers doing that with someone. Waking up and think of them first thing and knowing they're also thinking about you. That kinda love.

Taeil finds beauty in Kun and Dongyoung's relationship. They've had years and Taeil has months. It's unsettling but when he sees Kun knocked out and peaceful next to him, a gentle smile on his face, he thinks he could do this— go back to feeling that kind of immense love again.

 

-

 

“Moonpie, I, well,  _ we  _ got you something,” Kun says before he sips his coffee, and Dongyoung smiles.

They’re in the diner again ( _ for lunch _ ), and Taeil’s eyebrows furrow as he chews on his burger. “ _ Moonpie _ ?”

Dongyoung laughs. “I told him you’d be weirded out.” Kun elbows Dongyoung and smiles at Taeil.

“I won’t call you that if you don’t want me to.”

“No, It’s okay it just caught me off guard,  _ Q _ .” Taeil mumbles, sipping his cola and Dongyoung laughs the moment Kun stutters on his words. He likes how it feels like he’s joking with old friends when they talk like this, like that they’re feeling just as comfortable joking around with him. “So you guys got me something?”

“Yeah,  _ Q _ , we had something for  _ Moonpie _ ?” Dongyoung adds, shit-eating grin on his face that only receives a glare from Kun.

“Yes,” Kun started slowly, hand reaching his pocket before he pulls out a small box. He places it on the table and slides it over hesitantly. Taeil’s heart lurches and lands in his throat. The box looks familiar; he  _ knows  _ what it’s typically for and  _ that’s _ what makes him apprehensive.

“Uhhhhhh-”

“It’s just an ring,” Dongyoung says, pulling the box open to show Taeil before closing it again. “It’s not a mandatory thing, it’s just there if you want it. Like after the four weeks are over and you’re sure this,” he gestures between the three of them, “is something you wanna give a try officially, then the ring is your answer.”

“Does that make sense?” Kun adds quickly. “We kind of wanted you to keep it so you can give us an answer when you’re ready. I’m sorry if it’s too much.” Taeil nods slowly.

His fingertips touch the box before he pulls his hand away; it’s too powerful and they know this. “I—” Taeil scratches his arm. “I’ll keep it for the time being. I get where you guys are coming from, but this is making me nervous. Can we just eat lunch now?”

Kun and Dongyoung nod. Taeil smiles appreciatively before he pockets the box and tries not to spend the rest of shift staring at it once lunch is over.

Jisung tells him to guard the ring with his life. “Because it’d kinda be fucked up if you lost it, and also I’m going on a lunch date with Jeno on Wednesday,” she adds, slowly backing away from the main counter.

Taeil drops the box on the counter and turns to her. “What?!” 

 

-

 

“Jisung's hiding out in the murder mysteries,” Taeil says the moment he sees Jeno step through the door of the book store.

Jeno raises an eyebrow. “What makes you think I'm here to see her? What if I'm here for my sweet small Taeil?” Jeno bats his eyes and Taeil grumbles.

“Don't push it, kid. Jisung mentioned that li’l lunch date you invited her to today.” Taeil thinks it's cute when the corner of Jeno's lip twitches in the slightest, holding back an obviously big smile. He hopes he doesn't hurt Jisung. She really doesn't need that now, or ever for that matter. “Like I said, she's hiding out in the murder mysteries.”

Jeno nods, pushing off the counter and making his way to said aisle. Taeil smiles. “And, Jeno...”

“Yes?” He answers meekly, turning around. “If you hurt her, you're dead. Have a great time though,” Taeil giggles.

Jisung just so happens to walk out off where she's been hiding for most of her shift and pouts. “Taeil, play nice for once.” Jeno follows her as she walks to behind the desk and hides the book she's been reading. Taeil can see the smile on her face too when she grabs her satchel, discreetly checking her makeup in her hand mirror before turning back around.

“I'll be back in an hour. Please don't burn down the bookstore,” Jisung dramatically sighs, patting Taeil's hand.

Taeil frowns. “I love this place too much to see it burn.” It's true though; he's too attached. It would be more tragic than Romeo and Juliet. ( _ To which Jisung is still amazed as to how the whole story progresses in three days _ .) Jisung waves at him, pulling Jeno behind her; and Jeno waves but swallows harshly when Taeil, smile on his face, makes a punching gesture and waves back.  _ Ah _ , young love.

Kun enters a few minutes later, a smile on his face and a suspicious bag in his hand. Taeil's heart races like he's a teenager again, hiding his smile behind his hands. Kun drops the bag in front of him. “I brought you lunch.” He announces, chest out like he's real proud of himself. Taeil scoffs, pulling out a heated up piece of pizza from the dinner they had last night. He's not upset, it's just funny. “It's the thought that counts?” Kun shrugs, hoping for a free pass, but he should know better. He's been living with Taeil for almost two weeks now.

“Wow, Buffalo Chicken pizza. My favorite, how did you know?” Taeil plays along, actually kinda excited because Papa John's makes the best Buffalo Chicken pizza he's ever had. He could eat this all day, three meals a day. Jaemin would be proud of him.

“Har har,” Kun mocks. “Hansol said it's be nice if I stopped by your work, and I also kinda missed you.” Taeil smiles, big and unadulterated that time, his cheeks turning a soft pink and he nods.

“I guess that's cute.” Taeil teases, taking a bite of his pizza.

Kun deflates. “You guess? But yesterday when we made out after dinner. I was the cutest.”

Taeil chokes on his pizza. He knows he's the only employee on duty, and they're probably the only two people in the store, but it doesn't stop him from looking around. He smacks Kun's hand. “You can't just go around announcing that we make out.”

Kun laughs. “I love making out with you!” His voice echoes off the walls and Taeil whines, hiding his head under his arms. Fucking Kun. He really hopes no one's in the store. ( _ He also really hopes Yukhei isn't working today. That kid wouldn't let him live if he heard this conversation. _ ) “Will you leave if I kiss you?” Taeil bargains, ready for Kun to disappear off the face of the earth.

Kun hums, bouncing back and forth as if he's actually weighing his options. “As long as we get to make out later?”

Taeil nods. “Yeah, just please don't embarrass me at work again.”

Kun winks. “No promises.” He makes his way around the counter, hands gently holding Taeil's cheeks and he smiles. God, Taeil's whipped. His eyes shut and when Kun presses their lips together, he swears his toes curl in his shoes and he grips the stool he's sitting on. It's quick, and Kun looks mildly disappointed. “I guess I'll leave you to it.”

“I guess,” Taeil mumbles back, giggle against Kun's lips when he kisses him again and runs out the store. He supposes work visits aren’t so bad.

 

-

 

Kun lays a hand on Taeil stomach; it's cold but refreshing when Taeil, himself, feels like he's burning up.

Kun likes to kiss Taeil painfully slow. His lips are soft and slick, tongue warm, and Taeil loves it. Loves the tingle that shoots down his spine all the way to his toes when Kun's teeth rub gently on his tongue. He moans, hands squeezing and pulling at Kun's hair and the latter chuckles. It's just encouraging him to do it over and over again until he drives Taeil up a wall, semi hard in his pants.

“You're very eager,” Taeil pants, pushing away some of the hair plastered on Kun's forehead. Kun just gives him a smile, pecks his lips, and nuzzles into his side.

Kun's finger slides playfully on Taeil's chest. “So, Taeyong's invited all of us out to the club on Friday night.”

“ _ Oh _ ,” Taeil voices. He kinda knew this was about something. Taeil knew the lunch at work was a set up. That was bribery Buffalo Chicken pizza. Why would they disgrace the pizza like that? “And you want to go?” Taeil asks.

“I want  _ us _ to go,” Kun corrects, moving so he can look Taeil in the eyes. “Your friend group is technically also my friend group. I think it would be nice to go out—as a couple.”  _ As a couple _ . Kun's got a glint in his eye—one that could get anyone to agree to his any wish, one that could get anyone to jump as high as he says. Taeil knows if his eyes stay on Kun's a minute longer he's going to say yes. He looks at the ceiling and hums thoughtfully.

On one hand, his friends haven't hung out since everyone was at the bar for Kun's welcoming. That was almost three months ago. But on the other hand, Taeil hates clubs. They're too hot and loud, and he can barely stand hanging out at the bar, much less a club. Kun looks pretty excited about the matter; he doesn't want to let him down either. He's got options to weigh. “I'll think about it.”

Kun sits up, bright smile on his face regardless of there being a possibility that Taeil says no. “At least you're considering it. That's great.” 

 

-

 

Come Friday, Taeil finds himself in the passenger seat of Kun’s car. All his will to live left at home when Kun had batted his eyelashes and gave him a soft kiss before leading him to the car. "Come on it'll be fun. We'll go for three hours-"

"Two hours," Taeil butts in.

"Two hours, max, and then we can come home and go to sleep. Sounds nice?" Kun smiles, sparing a glance at Taeil before holding his hand. Taeil inhales deeply, fingers hesitantly curling around Kun's. He thinks two hours are way too long for his taste but he's trying to learn to be more sociable. Hansol had told him he's not going to get anywhere with Kun or Dongyoung if he acts like he's the human repellent for everything in existence. So this is a stepping stone he supposes. A night out won't kill him.

 

But on the contrary, it might.

The moment they walk into the threshold of the club doors, someone pushes into Taeil's side. Whatever is in their glass sloshes as they laugh boisterously, their breath hot against his cheek and he almost knocks Kun over when he backs away. "Sorry, cutie,” the stranger says, their finger running down Taeil's neck before getting pulled away from Taeil by another stranger.

"Sorry, she's really drunk,” the stranger explains.

"I can see," Kun hums, arm wrapping around Taeil's waist securely. It sends a chill down Taeil's spine when he feels Kun's fingers press against his skin.

"I'm really sorry. Did she hurt you?" Her friend asks, her arms full of her friend giggling for no reason.

"No. It's fine. Just get her home and give her a lot of water," Taeil pipes up, genuinely feeling sorry for the girl. It reminds him of how wasted he use to get whenever him and his creative writing classmates would go out to celebrate the end of the semester. He never liked being that uncontrollable.The girl apologizes under her breath once more and wobbles away.

"Are you okay? We can leave if you like," Kun screams in his ear, drawing Taeil's attention away from the direction the girls left in. He looks at Kun, the sincerity and general concern in his face coupled with his arm securely around his waist stirs a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Two hours," Taeil states.

_ Two hours  _ but Taeil finds himself－an hour and a half later－leaning against the wall near the bar, eyes set on Kun as he talks animatedly about God-knows-what with Taeyong and Hansol. All he can think about is the way Kun had  _ protected  _ him. The way it felt to have his arm secure around his waist, and he now knows that the feeling in his stomach borders arousal and fondness. It's been awhile since anyone has looked out for him without an expectation for anything in return.

Taeil can see his string lead straight to Kun, and he thinks crossing into new territory isn't wrong. He's allowed to: they're fated. But then his eyes wander down to the wedding ring on Kun's hand, a reminder that Dongyoung isn't here, and it would be out of his bounds. They agreed to try out this two week agreement but nowhere had it been stated that  _ that  _ would be fine. It scares Taeil, thinking about being intimate with someone he is not acquainted with, how he doesn’t even know how he likes to be touched anymore ( _ he’s only ever been with two other people _ ).

"Hey, what's on your mind?" Kun questions. It scares Taeil, he almost drops his Sprite ( _ yes, Sprite at a club, don't judge him _ ). Kun looks utterly gorgeous and perfect and radiant under the lowlights of the club. It stirs interest in him and he shakes his head. "Nothing."

Kun chuckles. "Really? A couple of minutes ago Taeyong was talking about how you were practically undressing me with your eyes.” Taeil laughs nervously and sips on his drink. Kun moves to hold Taeil’s waist. His breath is hot against his skin and heat creeps up his neck. The only cold thing in the room seems to be his drink, and it makes Taeil nervous. Their legs knock together and Kun’s knee brushes against Taeil’s semi. Taeil mewls softly, one of his hands curling around Kun’s arms before elbowing Kun in the stomach and pulling away. “Taeil, we can go home if you want,” Kun giggles, rubbing Taeil’s side as they walk towards the booth where their friends are at.

He looks up at Kun and sees no hint of teasing from the latter, just or even the same amount of lust Taeil is feeling. It reminds him of how real this is. He thinks  _ what does he even have to lose _ ?

“I want to go home.”

 

-

 

Taeil laughs into Kun’s mouth when the latter is struggling to take off his jeans. “God, I love the way your ass looks in these pants, but they’re so hard to get off!” Kun grumbles, huffing once they finally get off and nipping at the sensitive skin on Taeil’s inner thigh. Taeil’s laugh is breathy, his moans caught in his throat when Kun’s mouths at his cock through his boxers.

“Fuck!” Taeil squeaks, legs locking－almost squeezing Kun’s head if it weren’t for his self control.

“ _ Oh _ . I like that sound,” Kun states, moving to suck on the tip just to get Taeil moan again.

Taeil huffs, “Stop teasing.” His fingers gripping Kun’s soft hair so he can pull him up for another kiss. It’s nice, soft and slow. It makes Taeil feel warm inside, and when he dips his hand into Kun’s pants, he thinks the noise that Kun makes is far better than the noise Kun makes when he’s holding back.

“Wait! I don’t have lube,” Taeil groans against Kun’s shoulder when their shirts come off.

“Do you have lotion?” Kun prompts. Taeil winces at the thought. Kun laughs. “No, not for  _ that _ . We don’t have to try for that today. There’s  _ a lot _ that can be done without having to do  _ that _ .”

“Listen, we’re grown men. Can you stop referring to penetration as ‘ _ that _ ’?” Taeil pleads.

Kun kisses him softly. “Just hand me the lotion.”

Taeil rolls his eyes while he does so but a couple minutes later, Kun’s smearing cold lotion on the insides of his thighs and  _ oh, he gets it now. _ His eyes shut when Kun’s erection slides against his. It's an easy slide between his thighs and it feels so, so,  _ so  _ good. Kun leans in to nip under Taeil's jaw as he rocks them together, slowly and powerfully. He groans into Taeil's ear, “God, it feels good just doing this. I can't imagine what it'd be like to actually get you under my thumb and taste you.” Taeil moans, hips canting up for more friction and his nails dig into Kun’s side. Taeil’s practically folded in half but he welcomes the stretch, only encouraging Kun by being so responsive.

It's been awhile since he's been this open and vulnerable with anyone. It feels nice but also half empty. His mind wonders to what it would be like to have Dongyoung here— his nice large hands squeezing his thighs; his pink lips around his cock; his voice speaking sweet nothings into his ears; and that makes Taeil come, Dongyoung’s name on his tongue.

Kun moans, “Fuck, that was hot.” His hips stutter before his orgasm hits him too.

Taeil realizes what he's said and panics. Here he is with Kun, and yet he moans for Dongyoung. “I know what you're thinking. But honestly, that's was the hottest thing I've seen. It's okay to say his name.” Kun reassures, kissing Taeil before getting up so he can clean them off.

It bugs and excites Taeil. The fact that Kun gets off to the thought, but also the fact that Taeil feels utterly guilty about not moaning Kun's name. 

 

The next time they find themselves tangled with each other, it's a Sunday morning. Kun's three fingers deep in Taeil when the latter makes a mental note to be more vocal. Taeil leans forward, whimpering softly as Kun presses two fingers against his prostate. “You sound so beautiful,” Kun whispers, his thumb stroking Taeil's hip as they wait for Taeil to feel comfortable.

Taeil blushes, fingers squeezing Kun's shoulders because he's afraid to move yet—afraid to lose the feeling of being full. ( _ Kun tells him later that he's stupid. If they were to compare sizes and, quote unquote, 'being full’ “You're definitely a winner in that department. I love it when you're thick coc—” “Kun! Shut up!” _ ) Taeil is enthusiastic when he rides Kun. His moans aren't hidden with kisses or behind skin, they echo off the walls so much so that not even five minutes in, his throat feels raw, overused.

Kun is just as vocal—his praises getting mixed with Taeil's chants of Kun’s name. It's a nice way to start the day. He's on cloud nine the entire day, and when Kun leans over to give him a quick peck—in the cereal aisle, just because—Taeil giggles with happiness, and punches Kun's shoulder before dropping the box of Cheerios in the cart and speed walking down the aisle just to get away and hide his smile. Kun laughs before following Taeil and giving him another kiss for good measure. He likes this Taeil. The one that acts like a giggly teenager and is more willing to play. 

  
He's going to miss this when he has to go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> started: November 21st, 2016  
> finished: July 23rd, 2017

“You’re nervous,” Kun blurts out. Taeil looks up from his plate to see Dongyoung and Kun both staring at him and he looks back down. The ring Kun— _ they _ —had gifted him is heavy in his jacket pocket.

_ Why is the spaghetti going down slowly _ ? Truth be told, his palms are sweaty under the table. They have been since they sat down for lunch, and Dongyoung kissed Kun before asking Taeil if it was okay to kiss his temple. ( _ Taeil had nodded yes, basking in the soft pressure of Dongyoung's hand on his nape and his lips on his temple. _ )

Now here they are, sitting across from each other in a strangely dim booth at Olive Garden, and he knows tonight he goes home with Dongyoung. Ultimately leaving Kun to inhabit his room in the small apartment he shares with Hansol. Kun had assured him that this was okay; it was an opportunity to schmooze one of his best friends.

Kun had warned him that their a/c is probably still broken so it’s ‘all the more reason to get physical.’ (“ _ If you know what I mean _ ?”  _ “I swear to god, Kun.” _ ) He had also given him a whole list of things Dongyoung does and how Dongyoung is. “He’s talkative when he’s comfortable. I give him a week before he’s talking your ear off or pissing you off about something. It’s usually about what cheese gets to be in the house. Which, by the way, it’s American cheese.”

“Of course it’s American cheese,” Taeil agrees.

“He’s a great cuddler,and in the sheets, oh boy.” Kun winks, giving Taeil a thumbs up before dodging the pillow Taeil throws at him from the couch. “You know, ever since we had sex, you’ve been really suggestive.”

“Well, you’re a freak in the sheets.”

“Stop!” Taeil yells, plopping down on the couch, face first in the pillows.

Kun had also reminded him that everything was okay. “There are no boundaries—unless Dongyoung sets them. Don’t be scared to fall in love, to let yourself be loved, and to give love. Allow yourself to be loved, Taeil. You deserve it.” Kun had followed that up with a chaste kiss before cuddling up to Taeil, leaving him alone to think before sleeping.

 

_ Don’t be scared to fall in love… _

 

_ To let yourself be loved… _

 

_ And to give love. _

 

-

 

Taeil learns the first two days he’s with Dongyoung that he likes to please, but he’s also kinda a pain in the ass.

Dongyoung goes from asking Taeil what he wants to quickly negating it and favoring his choice. It annoys Taeil the first two times, and then he just gives up. Dongyoung smiles triumphantly when they end up watching  _ Teen Wolf _ over  _ Bates Motel _ . Something about Dylan O’Brien being “too hot for his own good.” Nonetheless, a big pro to Dongyoung is that skinship comes more natural than breathing.

Dongyoung doesn’t hesitate to pull Taeil into his lap, lay back, and hold him there. It lulls Taeil more than not, and it’s nice. He feels like he’s home when he can hear Dongyoung’s heart beating steadily in his chest against his ear, and it’s all he wanted; but it also scares him slightly. Especially when Dongyoung looks at him like he holds the key to a blissful and fulfilling life. It’s a lot to live up to, and he’s so sure he’d be disappointing to not only Dongyoung but Kun. Even moreso when Taeil fiddles with the ring, puts it on when he's alone in the break room. It's just a reminder of the promises it holds and what it means.

[From Hansol]

_ I think you’re worrying too much after you know who. They obviously adore you and by the way you talk about them, the feeling's mutual. _

And the feeling  _ is _ mutual but it all still feels... disconnected.

 

-

 

It’s easy to learn to wake up to Dongyoung.

He’s soft, warm, and clingy, and Taeil learns he doesn’t mind that at all. He likes feeling Dongyoung’s breath against his neck or collarbone. He likes the way Dongyoung tucks himself into Taeil’s side while they sleep, like an extension of Taeil himself. When they wake, there’s soft touches, whispered words, and a gentle kiss pressed to his temple or the back of his hand before they lug themselves out of bed.

Today is the same, but they have nowhere to be. They can bask in the comfort of each other, and Dongyoung holds him just a bit closer, kisses any exposed skin he can. His leg slides between Taeil’s thighs, pressed softly, not rushed or needy, but a reminder that they have all the time in the world. Taeil thrives and thrives under Dongyoung’s touch, leans into as many kisses and touches on his skin as he can.

He feels content and comfort even with their pants halfway down their thighs and Dongyoung’s hand working over their cocks. His hand is warm, firm on them both. His kisses turn into little nips at the skin of Taeil's collarbone, and Dongyoung moans. “Beautiful. I want to hear you.”

Taeil moans, gasps, twists in Dongyoung's hold. He tries to stay grounded but thrusts up into Dongyoung's hand every time the other squeezes. Dongyoung presses his nose Taeil's cheek, hand switching between being still and going fast. It's titillating and frustrating, but Taeil basks in the feeling, burns it in his memory. He knows he'll recall how his toes curls, how Dongyoung's hand squeezes the head of his cock every so often, and how Dongyoung is attentively watching Taeil's body spasm under his touch.

It's much more silent when he comes. Taeil shuts his eyes, nose bumping Dongyoung's, and his thighs quiver. It's a weird feeling, a new experience, and he likes, likes how just the way he looks brings Dongyoung over too. His body thumps and pulses in places, and he's too blissful to care. “Can we go back to sleep?” he mumbles, already pulling up his pants and turning over.

Would've been successful too if Dongyoung didn't stop him. He touches his tummy softly and nuzzles his cheek. “I would love to, but first I gotta clean us up. Okay?”

Taeil turns to look at him, his hand coming to rest over Dongyoung's, and he leans up just a tad to bump noses affectionately. He's happy,  _ really happy _ and he knows he's allowed this. “Okay,” He whispers.

_ Okay to doing this whenever we can and want to _ .

“I also don't wanna be the bearer of bad news, but we still have to go grocery shopping later,” Dongyoung yells from the bathroom. Taeil groans exaggeratedly, kicking his legs almost childishly, and Dongyoung snorts.

“I'll go only if we get to nap for two hours,” Taeil bargains.

Dongyoung hums for a minute. “Okay but I get to be the small spoon.”

Taeil rolls his eyes. “I guess.”

 

( _ Taeil would be lying if he said he didn't prefer Dongyoung being the small spoon. He curls around Taeil so easily, leg hiked up on his waist, nose nuzzled in the jugular of his neck. He lays a soft kiss on Taeil's skin and drifts off, a soft snort and it warms Taeil's heart—lulling him to sleep shortly after _ .)

 

-

 

It feels weird. Like a sudden jolt of his stomach and his throat feels dry. They were suppose to just come to the store to get food—nothing else. Nothing this exhausting.

“Do you know him?” Dongyoung’s voice sounds muffled even with him being right in his ear. Taeil thinks he nods, but he doesn’t take his eyes off  _ him _ till he’s standing right in front of them, a big smile on his face ( _ painfully genuine _ ) and it feels almost nice. It feels like he’s in high school again.

“Taeil! It’s so nice to see you.” Johnny’s voice is soft, warm, and thick like honey. It washes over Taeil in waves, causing his grip on Dongyoung’s arm to tighten. He hates the way he feels around Johnny, but he also hates how he knows it isn’t anyone’s fault but his own. “It’s been too long,” he muses, hand coming up to brush his hair out of his face ( _ it’s long and shaggy like Taeil remembers－he’s still the same _ ). The only difference in his appearance is the simple gold ring adorning his left hand.

“Yeah, it’s been so long. How’s China?” Taeil asks, his palms getting sweaty. They’re in the middle of the cereal aisle and it’s almost funny how a couple weeks ago he was in this aisle, nothing but sheer happiness radiating off him because of Kun; nothing but soft pecks being exchanged as they decided on what cereal to get that week and also grabbing the box Taeyong had requested for when he stayed over. Now it feels tainted. Those memories will be overturned and rewritten with this moment, the moment he sees Johnny again.

Johnny had always had the power to do that to Taeil, intentionally or not. He always had this way of invading Taeil’s mind to the point where Taeil had held him so high on a pedestal, he was too blinded to even notice their inevitable reality. He idolized him in so many ways and now that Taeil thinks about it, that's was already toxic in itself.

Johnny was admirable. Everyone wanted to know who exactly he was, how he worked, what he liked, and so much more. He was  _ that _ guy in their high school. It wasn’t until Taeil’s sophomore year that he had really looked at Johnny. He felt as though his best friend had become a stranger. He had grown into his looks, he was even more confident and he was undeniably Taeil’s. Of course Taeil hadn't know it then, but the whole school was waiting for it to happen.

He doesn’t know when to pinpoint their significant pivot in their relationship, but he can remember their first kiss. He remembers sneaking out that night to go to some senior’s house party. He’s surprised his parents didn’t question him about it. In this small of a town word gets around, and parties either die before they start or thrive marvelously. This party was the latter. He remembers cutting his finger on Johnny's rosebush as he tries to catch the backpack the other drops from his window, subsequently jumping out of the window after it.

Taeil can’t remember much of the party but remembers the feeling. The feeling of excitement humming through him pleasantly as he laughed with people. The feeling of warmth when he gets overheated from jumping around too much and calling  _ that _ dancing. The feeling of being a staple american teen they always show in those corny movies. The feeling of his skin tingling when Johnny pulls him until they’re on the roof of whomever’s house this is, their thighs pressed against each other, sitting far too close for comfort but this is Johnny and Taeil, this is a second nature to them.

He remembers Johnny talking about the idea of joining one the sports teams. He remembers listening as intently as he can while being mildly buzzed. The way his breath hitches when Johnny manages to confess, somehow the conversation steering in this direction. They’re the epitome of cliche at this point, but Taeil thinks the planets have aligned in some galaxy because Johnny  _ must _ be his soulmate. He’s heard stories of people feeling the draw, the connection in it’s rawest form before the string even manifests itself. They’re going to be one of  _ those _ stories, Taeil had thought. Johnny's lips had never felt wrong; they had always felt like home.

His heart feels like it's bursting and he can’t get enough of the feeling. It's addictive and he craves for every touch Johnny has to offer. It happens every time Johnny leans over and kisses him. Every kiss feels new, different, exciting, like it was the first; but familiar, assuring and rewarding all at the same time. They’re both sixteen and so very much in love. They promise and promise because it’s all they can do. They wholeheartedly believe in those promises because they had been so sure that they were destined. That the universe had written out their names in the stars across the universe, and therefore it had to be the way things were.

Johnny being Taeil’s.

They gave so much to each other--their first everything. Time flies, seasons come and go, but  _ Johnny stays _ , Taeil thinks.  _ Johnny is an unchanging constant _ . Johnny is going to be by his side until the end of time. Senior year comes around and strings are appearing. He remembers being excited for Jaemin one day and then consoling Jisung the next when they find out her string is grey. Senior year bringing a whole whirlwind of new emotions, new people, new things to explore－together and alone.

“I’ll always be with you. Even if it’s by some twisted fate that we aren’t destined, I love you too much— I can’t imagine my life without you,” Johnny promises in the darkness of Taeil’s room. He leans forward to kiss him, getting pulled closer till hands are touching hot skin again and blankets are being kicked off the bed in favor of each other’s body heat. It’s another promise, one that sounds familiar to another that’s been said before. Probably in the same room and many times in different variations over the past two years. But Taeil doesn’t think about that. He thinks about how his heart swells with love and thinks,  _ Yes they’ll be together. _

But teenage promises should never be taken seriously.

A new semester comes, bringing in a new cluster of exchange students. Each from a different country or state. He meets Renjun, who later returns after he finishes school in Florida. He meets Yuta from Japan, a beautiful guy who likes to spend his time reading english translated mangas he has probably already read in japanese. But then they meet Sicheng.

He’s utterly harmless, practically a ladybug in it's purest form. Taeil enjoys his company, basks in the way Sicheng tries to adapt to the English slang but still insist on calling Hansol and him ‘ge’. Sicheng is loved by many and loves many. Taeil vaguely remembers when it was all good and perfect, leaning over in the library to tell Johnny, jokingly, that Sicheng is China’s version of him－”He would be, but where’s his Taeil? He’s not me if he doesn’t have a version of you. But even then, that version would pale in comparison to you.” It's the tooth rotting kinda sweet.

 

February has a different plan for them.

Taeil’s heart stops when his phone lights up.

_ I got my string. _

Those words feel heavy. Especially when Taeil’s first reaction is to look at his hands as well. Yet, nothing. No string. He knows how this goes; but the promises, he believes the promises they’ve made. He is hopeful. He's so sure in their bond, their years together, that Johnny will pick him. But Monday morning comes and Sicheng chokes on his pasta. He murmurs something chinese before getting up and walking out of the lunch room, leaving Johnny between a rock and a hard place as they look after him.

Taeil hates the way Johnny looks at him, his face showing so many emotions; and Taeil hates how he feels put on the spot but looking back on it now he made the right choice, pushing Johnny to go follow Sicheng. And he follows Sicheng until he goes back to China--Johnny deciding that, yeah, China could be nice.

Taeil hates love after. He falls into bed with Yuta occasionally, but nothing mends his heart.

Looking back on it, Taeil feels as if he had wasted so much time confining in Johnny that he didn't even have time to truly develop himself. He had spent so much time weaving himself and compromising himself to accommodate Johnny. He had applied to colleges in states Johnny showed interest and looked for careers that would help pay whatever bills they'd have to pay, but they would've been together. 

 

“China's great.” Johnny smiles. “My chinese has definitely gotten better,” he chuckles, hands clasped around the jar of marshmallow spread he likes so much. They probably don't have that in China, plus Sicheng hated the taste back in high school.

“I'd imagine. It'd be kinda weird if you lived in a country where you couldn't speak the language,” Taeil jokes, his fingers searching for Dongyoung's. Their palms slide together easily, and it calms Taeil a bit. Johnny gestures to Dongyoung, sticks his hand out and bleams when Dongyoung shakes it. “Firm handshake. I'm sorry for being rude, but I'm Johnny, an old friend of Taeil's.”

Dongyoung glances at Taeil quickly, more making sure he's still comfortable with it all before he replies. “I'm Dongyoung.” His finger slides over Taeil's ring finger, amused and thankful that he decided to wear his ring today because he holds their hands up. “Taeil's husband.” He laughs lightly. ( _ It sounds fake to Taeil but to the untrained ear, it's genuine, unbashful. _ )

Johnny's face lightens up. “You're married? Congrats!” Taeil smiles, not letting go and squeezing Dongyoung's hand. even when Johnny pulls him into a hug.

 

The car is silent, but Taeil's still got his hand in Dongyoung's as the latter drives them home. “Thanks,” Taeil's starts, thankful that his voice is stable and not a complete give away of how he's feeling. “It's only been two weeks with you and we're already going through big lies together,” Taeil jokes, laughing, but it's almost completely empty of emotion.

Dongyoung doesn't look at him till they’re at a red light. “I'll always be there for you, Taeil. Kun had told me you kinda tiptoed around a huge subject when he was with you so it's really just a matter of me connecting the dots. We also have the rest of our lives to lie together.”

Taeil boops his nose before the light turns green, and they're on their way again. “You're smart, but he's just a big ex. He didn't intend to break my heart.” Taeil rubs a knuckle into his eye and yawns. “I was sixteen and impressible, plus I kinda idolized the guy so…” He trails off.

“So...” Dongyoung echoes. The car is silent for a couple minutes as they make their way further into the suburbs. It's a nice day out, and he can see kids biking along the sidewalk, oddly feeling domestic about his position in Dongyoung's car. “Are we gonna finish playing _ Resident Evil _ tonight?” Dongyoung finally asks when they're pulling into the driveway.

Taeil laughs, kisses Dongyoung's knuckle endearingly, and gets out of the car. Dongyoung follows, popping the trunk open to help with the bags and he kisses Taeil's cheek as a response. “I guess we could play. We both don't have work tomorrow. We also brought frozen pizza we can just pop in the oven.” Taeil shrugs, grocery bags on either arm. Dongyoung groans, “You're the best!” 

 

-

 

The TV buzzes softly, and Taeil pulls at Dongyoung’s ear playfully. Dongyoung whines, pushing his nose into Taeil’s chest, and he laughs. “Thanks for being there today. I’m pretty sure I would’ve freaked if I was by myself.”

Dongyoung noticeably sags into Taeil further, a smile on his face and he hums. “No worries. I just want you to feel comfortable.” It's blatantly obvious from the get go that both Dongyoung and Kun have wanted nothing more than to ease Taeil into this situation as soon as possible. Doing that requires trust, patience, comfortability and they've done nothing but put him before anything else. Kun makes him feel better, great about himself. Kun is his comfortability. On several occasions, the smallest thing does wonders to Taeil's ego: Kun's exaggerated groans of delight when Taeil had cooked dinner for them; Kun's small gestures towards him when they're in the bathroom, brushing their teeth, and they catch each other's eyes in the mirror; Kun's smile brilliantly bright and endearing but saliva drips from the corners of his mouth and Taeil laughs.

Dongyoung is a stark contrast. Dongyoung feels and looks like a stern, serious person behind smoky mirrors and dim lights; yet, he's patient— rational in every thought, action, word, and decision. He gives Taeil the unconditional trust and attention Johnny had lacked. Dongyoung feels a lot like a breath of winter air— refreshing, so much so it hits the back of your throat, makes itself noticed as it occupies your lungs and feels good on your skin. Dongyoung is gentle, waits for the green light but only if Taeil verbally says so, gestures don't do much. Dongyoung gives Taeil so much more in quick glances, fumbling fingers as they both try to play video games with the same control or holding hands. Dongyoung is the feeling of a warm fuzzy blanket, plucked straight from the dryer, and Kun is accompanying warm clothes.

They make him feel fresh, new--like he's discovering himself as a person all over again and thrice over.

“Kun's coming home tomorrow,” Dongyoung says, kissing Taeil's knuckle a beat later.

_ Coming home. _

It leaves Taeil buzzing with excitement. He wants it to feel like home; all he's ever wanted was a  _ home _ .

It's a surprise that Taeil requests to be the one to open the door when Kun arrives. Dongyoung assured him he'd prefer it--this is about him after all. There's an underlying tone about the ring, the ring he can choose to gladly accept when he's ready. Kun smiles at him when he opens the door, pushing Taeil backwards a bit so he can close the door and Taeil's back meets Dongyoung's chest.  _ Safe. _

Kun leans up to kiss Dongyoung first, expected, and it leaves Taeil sandwiched in between but not unwelcomed or awkward, but quite the opposite.  _ Safe. _ Taeil can feel Dongyoung's chest rumble against his back as he laughs into Kun's mouth, can feel Kun's heart beating fast in his chest underneath his hands and it's all so perfect. He lets himself indulge in the feel of belonging, and when Kun finally pulls away, something shifts. Kun meets his eyes, swoops in, hands on both of Taeil's cheeks as he kisses him. Dongyoung's still got his hands on Taeil's hips and it's just feels so warm. It's feels like home. “Missed you, Moonpie.”

“Missed you, Q,” Taeil responds, eyes still shut because he doesn't trust himself. Doesn't even have to look at Kun to know he means it. He misses him and Taeil wants it, wants to drown in both their compassion, love and adoration. Kun kisses him again, this time with less fever, and Taeil holds his arm where Dongyoung's hand is, pushes himself back against Dongyoung's chest—pulling Kun closer by his shirt's collar, but it's not enough.

He wants them,  _ needs  _ them. “Please.” Taeil groans into Kun's mouth, equally as responsive to the way Dongyoung racks his finger through his hair once. “Only if you're sure about it,” Kun responds.

“We're here to make you feel welcomed--loved. We're doing this for you,” Dongyoung adds, kissing the crown of Taeil's head.

Taeil smiles, a hand squeezing Dongyoung's hand, and the other caressing Kun's cheek. “I don't think I've been more sure of anything else.” 

 

-

 

The room is far  _ too _ warm.

It borders hot, but hot reminds Taeil of summer days where he sits in the park and his ice cream melts in less than a minute if he isn’t in the shade. Being so warm makes him notice everything. His palms are clammy, and he grabs at the fabric under his fingers. His cheeks are dusted with light pink, and his breath comes out shaky when he doesn’t intend it to.

The bed shifts and he realizes they’re still in the room. It feels like hours— _ days _ —have passed but it's been mere minutes. He feels Dongyoung’s chest expand under his fingers every time he breaths in and feels Kun’s hand rubbing his lower back. Dongyoung had told him there was no rush, they were here to make  _ him  _ feel comfortable with this— to make him feel good. “You okay?” Dongyoung pipes up, his hand coming to caress Taeil's cheek. It's tender and it makes Taeil feel like his throat’s dried tenfold, but he nuzzles into Dongyoung's hand nonetheless.

He huffs, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Don't feel pressured to do anything," Kun adds, "We're doing this for you."

They're being  _ too  _ nice. "Just tell us what you want." It's a simple statement, but it makes Taeil hot. He shifts in Dongyoung's lap and it suddenly hits him how hard the other is. The thin fabric of his boxer's doesn't leave much to his imagination. What  _ does _ he want?

He looks at Kun. "I just want to kiss him."

A beautiful, soft smile breaks upon his face. It's such a wholesome request. Taeil really is a simple man. "Then kiss him."

Taeil looks away, eyes meeting Dongyoung's eyes, and all he sees is adoration written all over his face. He leans in, nose bumping Dongyoung's softly and the latter chuckles playfully. He’s finally going to kiss Dongyoung. When they had two weeks to themselves, there was nothing more than kisses on his forehead, cheeks, and on the back of his hands. The farthest they've gone is a morning spent in bed, cocks rubbing together, Dongyoung hands on both them. Dongyoung had left hickeys in his wake but never kissed him.

Kissing Dongyoung isn't like kissing Kun. Where Kun lacks in roughness and enthusiasm, Dongyoung makes up for it. Kun likes to take things slow and savor as much of the moment as he can; he kisses Taeil like he's never going to kiss him again. Dongyoung contradicts that. He kisses fast, his hands are warm on his skin and his mouth is rough against his. His tongue is warm and slick against his bottom lip and when Dongyoung nibbles on his top lip, a pleasant shiver trickles down his spine.

Taeil feels like he's floating. His heart feels like it's in his throat and when Kun's hands rest on his hips, finger's slipping under his shirt－hiccuping softly into Dongyoung's mouth, his heart feels like it's going to burst. Kun squeezes his hip gently before he’s guiding Taeil's hips down, his semi-hard on rubbing against Dongyoung's, and they both groan in symphonic unison. Kun whines, "You both sound beautiful." And Taeil thrives off the praise, only wants to moan for Kun more. Moan for both of them, for as long as he can.

Taeil sits up, a hand reaching out for Kun— pulling at his shirt before kissing him. He sucks on his bottom lip as Dongyoung shifts to press delicate kisses against his skin, under his jaw, on his exposed shoulder, earlobe in between his teeth. He runs his fingers through Dongyoung's hair, pulling it slightly when he ruts against Dongyoung for a second time. It's exhilarating when he pulls away from Kun to see the way Dongyoung's eyes shut and his breath comes out in short puffs. So he does it three more times, whining openly when Kun sticks his hands down his pants, jerking him off too slowly. They're responsive to him, and Taeil thinks he can do this. This could work.

"What do you want to do next?"

 

-

 

When Taeil wakes up, he feels light.

The sunlight barely peeks through the curtains. It's the only indication that time has passed. When he shifts, Kun's hand slide down further down his stomach, and Dongyoung groans in protest. His cheek is pressed against Taeil's collarbone, and his breath fans out against his skin when he sighs, leaving goosebumps rising in his wake. "Can you stop moving?" Dongyoung slurs.

His hand comes up to rest on Taeil's cheek and he pats its softly. "Do you feel fine?" It's sweet how much Dongyoung cares for him. Even in aftercare, Kun and Taeil had laid there panting as Dongyoung rushed around to clean the sheets were clean before they dozed off.

"Yeah, I feel..." Taeil hums, "really,  _ really _ good."

"That's good," Dongyoung yawns. Taeil kisses Dongyoung's forehead, reaching to intertwine their hands－his finger running over the cool metal of Dongyoung's wedding ring. Before, it would only be a reminder of how Taeil felt like he was overstepping his boundaries, how he was placed smack in the middle of years－ _ decades _ of memories Dongyoung and Kun had made together. Now, it's comforting. A reassurance that he has not one but two great people who are willing to be by his side for just as many decades as they've had been without him.

"Do you want your ring?" Kun pipes in, stretching briefly before resting on an elbow to look at both Taeil and Dongyoung with ease. Taeil sucks in a breath.

Everything leading up to now has been about Taeil walking on eggshells. Yes, he's worn the ring here and there but he always takes it off almost as fast has he had put it on. Unsure, insecure of where and how this would play out. Being fated to two people who were already in love seemed like a cruel joke the universe had thought was funny. He knows now that, as Hansol had said numerous times, everything happens for a reason. Soulmates are pieces to your own puzzle, and Taeil doesn't see how Dongyoung and Kun can't not fit with him. They balance him out, soften his edges, and keep him grounded when he needs it.

Slipping the silver ring on his finger now seems to lets the last piece fall into place gracefully. It compliments the red string around his finger and his heart swells. Kun leans to kiss his temple while Dongyoung squeeze him, their skin pressed together in endearing ways.

Taeil wouldn't want to be anywhere else in world than right here, slotted between the two most beautifully ethereal men in his life and their hearts full of love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are several people i wanna thank for being through this long process.  
> Amber and Toony, who I both reached out to and on various occasions talked about plot with in the early stages of this fic.  
> Mishel, Kristine, and (especially) Emily for reading over the fic before and telling me their honest options on it and that really motivated me to continue.  
> the title is from Moonlight Bloom by Aoora. That [song](https://youtu.be/Cp0tRximdm4) and the [lyrics](https://www.google.com/amp/s/popgasa.com/2016/06/09/aoora-moonlight-bloom-%25EB%25B0%25A4%25EA%25BD%2583/amp/) helped with the plot alot   
> This officially the longest fic I've written to date. I hope everyone enjoyed it!
> 
>  
> 
> [twitter](http://twitter.com/smallchittaphon) | [listography](listography.com/smallchittaphon)


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